Public Potty Dilemma

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The boys and I are flying solo this weekend.  Jon and his brothers went up to Manistee to go salmon fishing, leaving me home alone to entertain these two tots for two days.  When I'm alone with the boys, getting out of the house is always easier for me than staying in it, but potty training has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench in my approach!  I think its generally safe to say that we are officially potty trained.  We haven't had an accident of any kind in well over a week, and we've even been going out of the house in underpants.  But we try to stay home in the mornings until both boys have pooped- for obvious reasons!

So this morning Matthew pooped first thing, but Cal didn't.  We ended up venturing out anyways and spent a great poopless morning at the Village.  When he still hadn't pooped by afternoon, we decided to venture out once more after nap- to Barnes and Noble for some reading time.  I had one of our little potty seats in the car, like always, and they both tried before we went in.  So there we were, happily playing with the train table and taking turns reading books to each other when it happened. 

Caleb says, in his not so quietest voice, "I feel poo-poo's comin' mama!!! They're comin'!!"  I grab him and run for the bathroom, begging Matthew to follow.  He does.  At a snails pace.  He stopped to check out one more train, a book, another book, and then another...  I tried begging him to go faster to no avail, so I had to swoop back and grab him.  Now I've got one kid pulling me while holding his butt with his other hand, and I'm dragging the other one behind me praying that I don't pull his arm out of its socket.  We were quite a sight!  We make it to the bathroom in time so I should have been relieved, but this is when the real panic sets in.  Now we're IN the bathroom.  Two toddlers, one stall, and a million germs.  I tell Matthew to stand with his back against the wall and his hands in his pockets.  He listens.  For 3 seconds.  Then he turns around and puts his hands on the wall.  Then wanders over to explore the lock on the door.  Then the crack in the floor.  Then he attempts to stick his head up the toilet paper dispenser.  Then there's poor Caleb on the toilet.  Though I'm holding him up, he's terrified that he's going to fall in so despite my begging him not to, he grabs on to the sides of the toilet seat to hold on.  Matthew has now wandered over to see if Caleb has indeed pooped.  He sits down right next to the toilet, places both hands on it, and sticks his head behind his brother's butt to get a good look in.  AHHHH!!!!!    When Caleb is done, he turns around for a better look- which apparently required putting both of HIS hands on the toilet seat.  Matthew offers to flush.  I scream "NO!" He reaches up with his foot to flush- not sure where he's seen that before-  and while asking "Is this a foot flusher one mama?" he looses his balance and falls over.  You've got to be kidding me!  With both of his hands planted firmly on the floor, I'm quite certain we have touched every square inch of bathroom. I am trying so hard to play it cool in front of the boys that I barely noticed that Caleb did indeed poop.  He brings his accomplishment to my attention by asking if he can take a picture of it.  We all cheer and I am certain the other people in the bathroom think they have stumbled across the craziest family in the whole wide world.  It is then that Caleb bends over to be wiped, planting HIS hands firmly on the bathroom floor.  I debated asking the boys if they wanted to lick anything before we walked out, but knowing that they'd take me up on it, I decided not to.  Instead we walked out to the sinks where I was tempted to strip them naked and give them a full bath right then and there.  But again, I decided not to.  Instead we did the world's longest and soapiest hand wash, after which I personally stuffed their hands in their pants pockets and told them not to move them until we left the bathroom.

I tried my best to play it cool in front of the boys during this entire um, er...  adventure.  After all, I LOGICALLY know that the most likely thing they are going to "catch" from this filthy bathroom is mama's obsessive compulsive disorder.  I'm not sure how successful I was...  its something that might need a bit more work.  But for putting in my best effort, I grabbed myself an upside down caramel macchiato from the Starbucks in the bookstore on our way out.  After I washed my hands again of course  :)